#BLAThoughtOfTheDay – J.K. Rowling is crying for help

I choose to believe that Fantastic Beasts was more cry for help than actual story. That is the only way I can go on living.

GABBLER RECOMMENDS: J.K. Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is too busy planning future movies to be much good in the present

“But the truer intent of Fantastic Beasts reveals itself as veteran Harry Potter director David Yates continues to swoop the camera like he’s mapping out a blueprint for Universal’s inevitable Fantastic Beasts roller coaster. Once I accepted that I wasn’t watching a movie so much as a marketing opportunity, I could focus my attention on the rest of what Fantastic Beasts had to offer.

And even though those days are largely behind me, I still thought the prospect of having a new Harry Potter canon in my life might spark something like excitement. Surely seeing a full-blown adaptation of Rowling’s slim book of the same name could be interesting, especially when interwoven with the rise of Gellert Grindelwald, the dark wizard who was Voldemort before Voldemort was Voldemort. And if nothing else, surely the adventures of a magical-creature enthusiast careening around 1920s New York City would be exciting.

As it turns out, not so much.

See, Fantastic Beasts isn’t just a whimsical tale of Newt chasing mischievous Nifflers and gelatinous rhinos around the city. It’s not even about the rise of Grindelwald. It’s about setting the stage for four(!) more movies. Almost all of these dozen or so plots end with, “To be continued.”

The result is that none of Fantastic Beasts’ stories truly get a chance to breathe beyond their cursory consideration. Given the fact that the movie’s narratives are so thin they’re practically translucent, it’s a good thing Yates and the Fantastic Beasts CGI team do their damnedest to give us something pretty to look at.”


Why didn’t J.K. Rowling self-publish if she wanted her pen name to stay a secret?

So, J.K. Rowling decided to use a pen name (Robert Galbraith) to write her new series of crime novels, the first being The Cuckoo’s Calling. And, if I’m not mistaken, she was a little upset when her lawyer’s wife (?) spilled the beans that it was her.

However, my new thought is: If she wanted her pen name to stay a secret then why not do things on her own? Why did she involve so many people (and their wives)? Why not hire a freelance editor – a really good one. It’s not like she’s strapped for cash to hire out. She could have even paid one she already knew on the side. Cash only. Whathaveyou. She could have afforded to advertise on websites apart from a publisher’s initiative. She had so many options. What’s more, she could have used her pen name to get all the business aspects done and no one would have blinked an eye. No one really knows who they’re working with online [speaking from experience (cough, cough)]. She is certainly smart enough to have done it on her own. She self-published the Harry Potter ebooks, technically. She knows how it works.

Maybe it was in her contract that her next novel(s) go to her previous publisher/agent. Maybe she was just lazy. Maybe she meant for it all to be a publicity stunt. Maybe she hates self-publishing and self-publishers. Maybe she already HAS self-published a novel under another pen name and got it right that time and WE WILL NEVER KNOW SHE’S REALLY THE ONE WHO WROTE IT.

Conspiracy, conspiracy, conspiracy.

But seriously, why?


[“BLA and GB Gabbler” (really just a pen name – singular) are the Editor and Narrator behind THE AUTOMATION, vol. 1 of the Circo del Herrero series. They are on facebook, twitter, tumblr, goodreads, and Vulcan’s shit list.]

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