And that’s important, because a sizable part of being queer is exactly this. It’s searching for yourself in words and music and theatre and often coming back empty because the world keeps telling you that they can’t (won’t) see what you see. That thing you want isn’t there, or it’s fan service, or it’s too much too fast. Things may be changing more rapidly than ever now, but that veil of persistent societal gaslighting persists. Trying to convince people is exhausting. Enjoying yourself in spite of everything can also be exhausting. Looking for evidence when you’re pretty sure that act alone makes you queer (and you don’t know that you’re ready to face up to that) is certainly exhausting.